Runner Assault

Summer is on it's way ya'll.

Halle freaking lujah. 

When it starts getting warm I prefer to run on the streets instead of a treadmill. Makes sense; you can hear birds chirping, get an early start on your tan, and get a breath of fresh air. The only downside: the obnoxious guy who holds on his horn as he passes you. We've all experienced it. You hear the honk, and the next thing you know you're sprawled out on the ground. When someone honks, you naturally turn to look. The sweat dripping down your face latches onto any and all pieces of stray hair as they swing around, causing a frantic scramble to clear it from your eyes. If not done in time, you proceed to miss the curb, stub your toe, flail your arms, and attempt to shoot a crusty in the drivers general direction all at the same time. Say you manage to make eye contact, if he's a smokin hot hunk of man, you will want to hurt yourself even more than you already have because you made yourself look like a fool. A feeble attempt to remedy this will be made as you wave and shamefully look straight ahead as you continue to run. If he falls in the category of "Sweet Spirit," you will want to hurt him. Yelling, swearing, or letting the bird fly are all common reactions here-pick your poison. 

If you want to talk to me while I'm running, try pulling over. If you're still interested after seeing a red face, crazy hair, and an outfit that may or may not match, props! You can now call yourself my friend. A) Because I will be thoroughly impressed at how ballsy you are, and B) You will offer me a ride home which I will gladly accept. Although our legs might be lookin good, only 0.5% of the female population actually looks hot while they run. For the other 99.5 % of us, please, let us be. I promise we look better while running that splattered on the pavement.