Too many tracks, too many don'ts.

I haven't had a lot of experience with tracks in my life. Running is fine...but I prefer other forms of exercise. Last night I decided to run. I'm not exactly sure why, I had worked out earlier in the day, I had already showered, and it was about 9:30 pm. Instead of hittin up Gold's Gym, I decided to take a stroll down memory lane (literally) and I headed up to Mueller Park Jr. High. Oh junior high...some people say the middle school years were the worst of their life. Not me! Though they are bittersweet memories now, I had so much fun that I actually missed those carefree days when your biggest fear was that someone would wear the same shirt to school as you. As I was running my mind began to wander...it circled memories of the field I was skirting, the blood and sweat I ground into the pavement I was on, and the people I held close through the thick and thin of it all. How fitting is it that during my most sentimental moment the song "Remember the Name" came on? I couldn't help it. I laughed to myself. As much as I sometimes wish I could push those memories out of my mind and into oblivion, they are here to stay. And for the first time, I'm okay with that. I realized that people come into our lives for a reason. They come, they leave their mark, and then they go. Memories of planning surprise birthday parties, having fights with giant stuffed fish, getting make overs at the Clinique make up counter and then going ice skating are just that. Memories. Sometimes the people we find ourselves closest with aren't meant to stay. They help you to learn and to grow and just like that, they are gone. Off to meet new people and make new friends, leaving you in the dust confused and disheartened. You'll learn to pick yourself up though. You always do.

I did track my 9th grade year. Want to know why? One very simple reason. It got me out of school, what more could you want?! I was a officer so I was used to getting out of class early, but track was the only exception. For some bizarre reason, they made us go to wrestling meets? matches? but not track. In order to complete my junior high experience, ditching as much school as possible was a must, so track it was. It helped that my best friend did track. She actually liked it though! Most days the track team would meet in the locker room and then walk down to the high school to practice. We would make it all the way to Emerald Hills Drive and then another one of our friend's mom would pick us all up. I don't know how it happened, but we saved ourselves a mile walk just about every day. I still remember the van we rode in; the seats turned around so we could all face each other. By the time the rest of the runners got down the the track we were almost done running our 2 miles. It's not like we would actually run though. At least I wouldn't...I was iPodless and there were hot high schoolers to look at. Why sacrifice my looks for a sport I couldn't care less about? The moment that my friend was done running, we would leave-her mom picked us up. One day while we were waiting we found a wire in the shape of a heart. We called it the "Love Wire"; very original, I know. I'm not exactly sure what we planned to do with it...maybe she was going to hang it on her bulletin board or something. We had a whole stash of random junk to keep track of. One day while I was walking to her house I found a rock that looked like a toe. A HUMAN toe. It was so freaky that that was the first thing I told her about when I walked in the door. You didn't knock. You walked in, took of your shoes, and went down stairs. She thought it sounded cool so we walked halfway back to my house to find the rock. And find it we did. We took it back to her house and painted the indentation of the "toe-nail" red and made up this whole story about how it belonged to a fossilized cave woman. Morbid? Maybe, but it is one of the funniest memories I have of our friendship. We had that rock for ages...I was thinking, although our friendship means nothing now, does the memory? Does she still have the rock? I might not never know.

Some of you know the story, some of you don't. I consider myself in the "don't" category. I don't know how two people can go from being connected at the hip, to being completely alien to each other in a matter of days. I don't know what happened to make things this way, and I don't know that I even want to know. I spent so long placing blame-it was her fault, she stopped answering the phone, she's the one who turned friends against me, it was her mouth that didn't open up to defend me. There were rumors flying about me. Did she start them? I didn't care. I don't care. What I did care about is that she did nothing to put them out. She knew me better than almost anyone, she knew I wouldn't do those things...I spent so long placing blame that's all I know. I tried other things first. Believe me, I tried. A smile and a wave were met with silent stares as we pass each other in the grocery store. Saying "Hi" as we stand in line for Spanky's is met with a backward glance and a smile? More like a grimace. After a while, it wasn't worth it anymore. I put in the effort and she didn't; why bother? That might not sound like the best way to cope with the situation, but for me it was. No contact was better than the bitterness I felt towards her every time I was shot down.  I was so confused. Like I said, I fit in the "don't" category. To this day I don't know what I did.

I only ran in one track meet. A few I missed for officer reasons, one I missed because I was sick, but one I completely ditched. We rode the bus to Woods Cross High School, warmed up, stretched, and waited on the bleachers for our race. We didn't want to run though, imagine that. My friend and I made up some bogus story about how she had to go to the doctor or something similar and tried to feed it to Kirby. *Kirby was the the coolest gym teacher ever. She wore bright blue mascara for crying out loud aaaand I saw her break up a girl fight. Scratching, pushing, hair pulling, the whole nine yards. Kirby didn't believe us for one second. Too much experience with teenage girls to fall for that. She told us to wait until we ran our races, and then we could leave. Did we wait? Not a chance :) As soon as we saw my friend's mom's car pull up we casually walked down the bleachers past Kirby and then ran at a dead sprint towards the car; that would be the only running we would do for the rest of the year.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This may sound like some sob story about how I lost one of my childhood best friends. To you it may be, but as I was running around that track, this and much much more was running circles in my mind. With my body fatigued and my mind even more so, I drew this conclusion. I am over being bitter. I am over wondering what I did to cause such intense looks of loathing. I am over it!!! The last time we ever spoke I was at her house. I had been calling for a week trying to get some of my clothes back but she wouldn't answer. Finally I just showed up. I'm not the confrontational type. I knew something was wrong but I wasn't completely willing to call her out on it. I asked what's wrong, she said nothing. I said are you sure? I told her she had been acting different, she said she hadn't but "Yes Rylie. Everything is fine." And you know what? Everything is fine. For years I though of that as the biggest lie she ever told. But now I think of it as the truth. We were best friends. Why ruin that? Just because the tangible evidence of our friendship does not exist anymore doesn't mean that it never did. I cherish the memories of our friendship! There is a time and a season for everything. Our season just had to come to an end. No more tainted memories. No more wishing I could go back in time and change things because I don't wish that any longer. I love my friends and I would have never met them if I would have stayed within the same group. 


I'm not 100% sure what is meant by a kindred spirit, but I know I have 3 of them. And you know what? There is no "time and season" for kindred spirits. They are with you forever, through thick and thin, rain or shine. They're the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. They're what makes friendship beautiful. 

A Night of Firsts

In this life, there is a first for everything. 

Friday was the first time I really hung out with Ryan Skousen.

Friday was the first time I was high-centered, in a canyon, in a river, in the middle of the night. 

Friday was the first time I witnessed a mountain crumble, as boulders the size of cars fell on the street.

Our night started out pretty normal. We went to the Grove Theater to watch Ryan's friend Patrick perform at a benefit concert along with Allred, The Neighbors, and some dude named Spencer. It was the first time I unintentionally popped a balloon, the first time I heard a singer who sounded like a sheep, the first time I made a duct tape ring,vand the first time I made up 2 handshakes in one night. 

Allred did awesome! He was kind of depressed, but it made for a great show. He talked about the disaster in Japan, how selfish suicide is, and about being truly happy; it really made you think! It was the first time I have seen a performer cry on stage! You could tell that he was passionate about the things he was discussing and it definitely carried through to his music. Especially this song: Hallelujah.

I got free cotton candy, and smashed Ryan's nose on a drinking fountain. (Sorry!)

Both firsts.

It was my first time seeing the view from Mile High Drive, and my first time hearing someone add money to their bank account over the phone. Not the first time I've aimlessly driven around Provo.

Vivian Park in Provo Canyon seemed to be calling our name so that's where we ended up.  

First time knowing someone paid to be a creep.

(Ryan worked on the Heber Creeper and made kids cry. Some job...)

We had been driving for quite some time so we decided it was best to turn back before we ended up on the equestrian trail. That would be a first for sure; I'm allergic to horses! Ryan threw the car in reverse, started backing up and disaster struck. The same time we heard sounds that aren't normal for driving, we felt the car sink down. We hopped out to see was going on, and lucky us, we were high-centered with the back wheels in a little river. We made a few noble attempts to get out...nothing worked.

Ryan pushed, I drove. No luck.

Ryan jacked the car, I stood there clueless. Fail-the car slides down even more!

Ryan calls friends for help, I don't have service. 

The friends said they had a car that could pull us out, but no cable so they would try calling this kid who they thought would have one, and call us back. While we were waiting we talked, and talked-mostly about our encounters with the opposite gender. The first headlights that we saw, Ryan jumped out of the car to flag them down, buuuutt....they just kept driving. We figured what goes up must come down so we knew they would be back at some point. The mystery truck finally came back and stopped to help us. Or not. Apparently the policy for Utah County just been changed and they are no longer allowed to tow people. On a scale of 1 to Lame, it was LAME. We finally decided that we might need to call his parents despite the assumptions they would make. Ryan called his friends one last time to see if they had any luck, and as it turns out, they were only 10 minutes away from us!

If I said I saw cars this big every day, I'd be lying. It was another first. 

That thing was massive...

Brycen rolled up in a giant Jeep that had some fancy shmancy tow chain built into the front that ran by remote. Pretty neat if you ask me! The boys set it all up and we were out just like that! Needless to say Ryan got (and is probably still getting) so much crap from his friends. It takes a special kid to high center his truck! With all of those firsts out of the way, we started the trek back down the canyon. Right before the main parking lot and entrance to the highway, our way was blocked by boulders in the street! We backed up, parked, and got out to inspect the damage. Right as we got to the rocks, more started falling! This was my first rock slide! It was the most insane experience. I witnessed a mountain crumble, and just fall down. That doesn't happen-mountains are supposed to be immovable! I've always wanted to call 911, but Seth got the honor. Still a first-it was a real life emergency! While Seth was talking to the 911 people on the phone, I yelled over to him:

"Tell them the boulders are the size of baby cars!"

Um...what? Did I just say that? Huh. I couldn't tell you what I meant. A smart car maybe? Those are small, babies are small, it works right? I wish I could say it was the first time I've said something stupid! Anyway, we still needed to get out so we morphed into a rock moving clean up crew. And when I say "we," I mean the boys. I mostly just stood there and took pictures :) They decided that if we moved the biggest rocks on the side farthest from the mountain, we could make it out alive-no casualties.They scouted it out, braved the dirt and ice, and got work done. My friends are so buff.

So here we are: The rescuers and the rescued alive and well after an adventure filled night.

It was the first time I wore those pants, and the first time I wore that hat.

It was also the first time I cracked jokes about New Years and Laser Assault in the same sentence. 

Want to know what it wasn't? 

The last adventure of Rylie Sandorf and Ryan Skousen.

***R2S2 ***

Rainy Day Playlist

You know the days where it is raining and you love every minute of it? You probably open your window, put on sweats and fall asleep to the sound of rain and your perfect playlist. Maybe you forget how close your bed is to the window and wake up when your pillow starts getting wet. Then again, maybe that's just me...whoops. Here are a few of my rAinjAms, enjoy!

Paperweight-Joshua Radin

Samson-Regina Spektor

Who Says-John Mayer

One Year, Six Months-Yellowcard

Aliens and Rainbows-Ferras

Blame It On The Rain-He Is We

My Heroine(Acoustic)-Silverstein

Conversations With Starts-Brightwood

Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop-Landon Pigg

Merry Happy-Kate Nash

Brandy Alexander-Feist

Old School-Hedley

Six Stars Tonight-The Title

Summer Girl-LFO

Mr. Brightside-The Killers

New Soul-Yael Naim

***TOP THREE***

3. Can I Have This Dance-HSM 3

Guilty Pleasure. There is something about this song I just love!

2. Knock You Down-Keri Hilson

Two summers ago Kalli Wyatt and I hiked Elephant Rock early one morning. About a mile and a half into the hike it started pouring. We were instantly soaked, but decided since we were still going to get wet if we went back down to keep going up. We looked like drenched and frozen sewer rats by the end of 7 miles, but it was so worth it! I can't tell you how many times we listened to this song driving there and back, but ever since when I hear it I think about being chilled to the bone. 

1. A Drop In The Ocean-Ron Pope

No explanation necessary.